Twilight - Not with Kristen Stewart or Robert Pattinson

Choosing the word "Twilight" as part of the title of this blog has nothing to do with the Twilight series (of which I am a fan, thanks to two gals I met in China). 

It's not about this. Go Team Edward. 

It has nothing to do with the episode of NCIS where Kate gets killed. I prefer Ziva, anyway. 

It's not about this. Later, Kate.

It has to do with the nearing of the end of life. I chose to spend some of my Grandmother's Twilight years with her, even if she doesn't know who she is, or who I am. It is a selfish thing to do, and I admit I do it more for myself than for her. But when she goes, I will feel a sense of calm and relief and will know that I did the right thing. 

The year I refer to is 2013....I am hopefully (come on 401k, hang in there) taking off to spend with my family and friends, to volunteer, and to travel (of course!!). Being a Corporate Zombie and making money and working in a negative space made me doubt myself and my abilities in general. Being told you suck all the time really does nothing but make you believe, and thereby, BEHAVE like it. 

My parents are old-school and really don't understand the modern 21st century world. The rules they lived by do not apply anymore. They are truly unhappy with a lot of things, including their only daughter. I am dealing with it, but I would have thought they would be more happy with the decision I made to move home. They were a huge part of it. They NEED my help, but will not accept it. I cannot understand them. I am frustrated, but I learning to let it go. 

Truly, if I were to find work right now, I would be the worst employee ever. If someone told me what to do right now, I would laugh in their face and walk away. I don't want to be a paralegal anymore, and I don't want to be in an office environment. I want to be flexible, to have time to spend doing what I want to do, but to also be able to make ends meet. It's a mind twister.